ja ist nett hier wo wohste denn du sniper ? auf den dächern von ankara
du schrott filter friss dieses posting nicht lasses durch sack lasses durch arghhh
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
Mibo
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Bilder:
So sieht das jetzt schon aus. Von NULL überall...ich bin mal ein wenig durch die Gegend geshoppt...
Dann mal ein Inventory, wie es sein muß. Mittlerweile hat er selbstverständlich auch eine Gasmaske!
Und so sieht `ne Waffe aus. Und nicht ohne Zielhilfen, so wie Deine! Außerdem lagen überall Waffen mit Zielhilfen rum...
-------------------------------------
So sieht das jetzt schon aus. Von NULL überall...ich bin mal ein wenig durch die Gegend geshoppt...
Dann mal ein Inventory, wie es sein muß. Mittlerweile hat er selbstverständlich auch eine Gasmaske!
Und so sieht `ne Waffe aus. Und nicht ohne Zielhilfen, so wie Deine! Außerdem lagen überall Waffen mit Zielhilfen rum...
-------------------------------------
ey ich hab genug erfahtung muss los Sudden Strike ruft muss wieder spielen
c ya guys motzt weiter rauf auf die 1000
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
c ya guys motzt weiter rauf auf die 1000
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
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957 1000-957=43 Posting nur noc hweiter jungs ich muss spielen gehen
verdammt lasses durch du schrott klump ich will nicht gefiltert werden so friss das friss schrott
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
verdammt lasses durch du schrott klump ich will nicht gefiltert werden so friss das friss schrott
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
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ja kannste mir die schicken?hier die addy: [url=mailto:alexandergleser@gmx.de]alexandergleser@gmx.de[/url]
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hoi jungs bei mir ladets noc hdie karte also poste ich kurz
habt ihr wieder mal was von Gaijin gehört seine warstory ist immer noch nicht gekommen, na ja egal
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
habt ihr wieder mal was von Gaijin gehört seine warstory ist immer noch nicht gekommen, na ja egal
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ok, Danke...übrigens ich muss leider kurz offline gehen bin aber in 45 Minuten ungefähr wieder da, hoffentlich bist Du da noch hier!Wir müssen die 1000 schaffen *buhuuu*
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1000-976 wo ist der scheiss Taschenrechner? ach mist nehm ich den vom PC. scheisse auch nicht gefunden gibts doch nicht. jetzt ist Kopfrechnen angesagt. ohhh Drreisatz,logarithmus aus x minus 976 ergibt im sinn ähhh ach ja 24 und whe jetzt hat schon wieder jemand was geschrieben da muss ich bloss neu ausrechnen. oder waren wir bei 967 ??
"Every new day is an old day with a fresh day"
good day dear
Log
"Every new day is an old day with a fresh day"
good day dear
Log
@Fabrice:
564 Tage, aber Thor nur auf Level 5?
-schwach-
Ich würd euch mal gerne meinen Stand hier rein posten, aber es wird ja wohl keiner das Pic auf seine Page stellen, oder?
_________
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@Widowmaker:
564 Tage, aber Thor nur auf Level 5?
-schwach-
Ich würd euch mal gerne meinen Stand hier rein posten, aber es wird ja wohl keiner das Pic auf seine Page stellen, oder?
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@Widowmaker:
@Fabrice:
Ich nehm dich beim Wort!
Also, schauen wir mal, dass ich das heute noch hinkrieg, erstmal die JA2-CD suchen.
Das einzig gute sind wohl die Maddog-Werte.
Kraut
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@Widowmaker:
Ich nehm dich beim Wort!
Also, schauen wir mal, dass ich das heute noch hinkrieg, erstmal die JA2-CD suchen.
Das einzig gute sind wohl die Maddog-Werte.
Kraut_________
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@Widowmaker:
So, die Mail hab' ich jetzt abgeschickt.
Hmm, sehr beeindruckend ist es zwar nicht, aber da seht ihr wenigstens einen gescheiten Söldner. ^^
Kraut
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@Widowmaker:
Hmm, sehr beeindruckend ist es zwar nicht, aber da seht ihr wenigstens einen gescheiten Söldner. ^^
Kraut_________
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@Widowmaker:
Maddog ist nach 56 Tagen besser als Thor nach 564...
Shank ist nur im Stoßtrupp dabei, weil er ein wenig Panzerschleichen machen muss.
Ansonsten sind die anderen 4 mein Stammteam.
Mein Ablenkungsteam macht grad Pause, wie man erkennen kann, leider sind die 4 beim letzten Angriff ziemlich verreckt.
Kraut
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@Widowmaker:
Shank ist nur im Stoßtrupp dabei, weil er ein wenig Panzerschleichen machen muss.
Ansonsten sind die anderen 4 mein Stammteam.
Mein Ablenkungsteam macht grad Pause, wie man erkennen kann, leider sind die 4 beim letzten Angriff ziemlich verreckt.
Kraut_________
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@Widowmaker:
wähhh maddog, mein schädel dröhnt von der pak nur ein unentschieden 2 gegen 2 scheiss karte aber aus einer verlorener stellung doch noc hein unentschieden herausgekämpft tapfere Ivans, hab tausende verheizt
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
982 kommt heut noch jemand sonst geh ich pennen schade wollte heute noch die 1000er marke schaffen morgen kann i nimmer aber am sonntag seit schpn über 1000 ich warte noc hganz kurz und dann bin ich futsch
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
Bringt doch nichts, wenn sich der Thread hochschindet.
Kraut
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@Widowmaker:
Kraut_________
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Clanz:
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@Widowmaker:
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Mahlzeit!
Wie kann man eigentlich in seiner SIG ein Bild zeigen?
Ich hab mir nämlich schon mein ganz persönliches Logo entworfen.
So vielleicht?
JA 2 Forum und City Döner rulen 4ever!
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Wie kann man eigentlich in seiner SIG ein Bild zeigen?
Ich hab mir nämlich schon mein ganz persönliches Logo entworfen.
So vielleicht?
JA 2 Forum und City Döner rulen 4ever!
Absoluter MetallicA Fan!
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http://therage.de.vu
http://theagency.de.vu
ICQ:99820500
Clanz: [PTP] [VdP] [LBF] The Agency, [PTP]Problem-Thread-Poster
Man beachte, dass Gumpy in einem Angriff Trupp ist (Naja, mit Dynamo und Flo. ) und Carlos nur als Bei Tony Rumsteher eingesetzt wird.
Also, mit dem 4 Mann Trupp ist es kein Problem, Meduna zu übernehmen. Somal Shank mit 'nem Mörser und 6 M-Geschossen rumrennt. (Kraft: 93 oder so).
Kraut
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@Widowmaker:
) und Carlos nur als Bei Tony Rumsteher eingesetzt wird. Also, mit dem 4 Mann Trupp ist es kein Problem, Meduna zu übernehmen. Somal Shank mit 'nem Mörser und 6 M-Geschossen rumrennt. (Kraft: 93 oder so).
Kraut_________
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@Widowmaker:
Naja, ich bin wie gesagt gerade dabei, das Match vom Scharfschützen zu retten.
Bei mir ist u.a. Vince im A-Team, sehr empfehlenswert, mit zwei Macs(Schalldämpfer/Laserpointer) echt das beste wo gibt. Dazu trägt er noch `ne FAL für den Tag, habe ihn mittlerweile auf achtzig Treffsicherheit, die restlichen Werte sind gerade in der Mache. Schaunmama...
-------------------------------------
Bei mir ist u.a. Vince im A-Team, sehr empfehlenswert, mit zwei Macs(Schalldämpfer/Laserpointer) echt das beste wo gibt. Dazu trägt er noch `ne FAL für den Tag, habe ihn mittlerweile auf achtzig Treffsicherheit, die restlichen Werte sind gerade in der Mache. Schaunmama...
-------------------------------------
Vince wäääh na also ich nimm nur einen vince nämlich vince carter
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
jungs ich bin im Alpha Squad hoho ich will wieder ein Beim Tony rumsteher sein
muss noch labern hab zu wenig wörter wer weiss wie Kirk im vornamen heist? James T. Kirk?
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
muss noch labern hab zu wenig wörter wer weiss wie Kirk im vornamen heist? James T. Kirk?
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nope James tiberius Kirk was für schinder thread?
Der Filter hat mein posting gefresseen zu wenig wörter und ich wollte verkünden dass ich endlich im a Squad bin
noch 7 postings auf millenium
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Der Filter hat mein posting gefresseen zu wenig wörter und ich wollte verkünden dass ich endlich im a Squad bin
noch 7 postings auf millenium
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
Wie nope James T. Kirk???
Klar, Mann! Oder dachtest Du "T." ist sein zweiter Vorname???
Du meinst den Schindfilter? Warte bis heute Abend, wir sagen Dir, wie man ihn umgehen kann. Oder glaubst Du, der Filter würde die Scheiße, die Scharfschütze und ich posten, zulassen
???
-------------------------------------
Klar, Mann! Oder dachtest Du "T." ist sein zweiter Vorname???
Du meinst den Schindfilter? Warte bis heute Abend, wir sagen Dir, wie man ihn umgehen kann. Oder glaubst Du, der Filter würde die Scheiße, die Scharfschütze und ich posten, zulassen
???-------------------------------------
heut abend bin ich nicht da aber würd mich freuen wenn ihr es docht schreibt so kann ichs morgen lesen
möchte die 1000 noch schaffen 995 haben wir schon
weiters sschreib ich wieder vor mir her bis der schind filter mich durchlässt
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
möchte die 1000 noch schaffen 995 haben wir schon
weiters sschreib ich wieder vor mir her bis der schind filter mich durchlässt
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
996
------------
South park Folge 101:
Episode 101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
[At the bus stop]
[Singing]
Boys: [Singing]School day, school day, teacher's golden ru...
Kyle: Ah, damn it! My little brother's trying to follow me to school,
again.
Ike: Zeeponanner
Kyle: Ike, you can't come to school with me.
Ike makes some baby speak
Cartman: Yeah, go home you little dildo.
Kyle: Dude, don't call my brother a dildo!
Stan: What's a dildo?
Kyle: Well, I don't know... and I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either.
Cartman: I know what it means!
Kyle: Well, what?
Cartman: I'm not telling you.
Stan: What's a dildo Kenny?
Kenny: Mrmmrmpmpmp
[Laughter]
Cartman: Huh, yeah, that's what Kyle's little brother is all right!
Kyle swings Ike by his feet, knocking Cartman down
Cartman: Ow!
Ike laughs
Stan: Dude! That kicks ass!
Kyle: Yeah, check this one out. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Kyle: Kick the baby.
Kyle kicks Ike.
Ike flings into four mailboxes, knocking them down.
Cartman yawns
Stan: Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.
Cartman: That's 'cause I was having these bogus nightmares.
Kyle: Really? What about?
Cartman: Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed... in the dark.
When all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room.
Then slowly my bedroom door begin to open and the next thing I remember
I was being drug through a hallway. Then I was lying on a table and
these scary hands wanted to operate on me. And they had big heads and
big black eyes.
Through his dialogue it shows Cartman being drug through a hallway and
aliens pulling his pants down.
Stan: Dude! Visitors!
Kyle: Totally!
Cartman: What?
Stan: That wasn't a dream Cartman, those were visitors!
Cartman: No, it was just a dream, my mom said so.
Stan: Visitors are real.
Kyle: Yeah, they abduct people and they mutilate cows.
Cartman: Oh, shut-up guys you're just trying to make me scared.
And it's not working.
Chef drives up and gets out of the car.
Chef: Hello there, children.
Boys: Hey, Chef.
Stan: What's going to be for lunch today?
Chef: Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles and a choice of
green bean casserole... or vegetable medley.
Cartman: Kick ass.
Chef: Say, did any of you children see the alien space ship last night?
Cartman: Huh.
Kyle: Yeah, fat boy saw it!
Cartman: Eh, no, that, that was just a dream... and I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
Chef: Oh, was it the ones with the big long heads and the black eyes?
Cartman: Oh!
Stan: They took him on their ship.
Chef: Oh! Did they give you an anal probe?
Cartman: Oh!
Kyle: What's an anal probe?
Chef: That's when they put a big metal hooba-jube up yo' butt.
Kyle: Whoa, they gave you an anal probe Cartman?
Cartman: No! I I mean, eh, why would they do that?
Stan: Dude, they did, huh? Aliens stuck stuff up your ass?!?
Cartman: No!
Ike: Ahal probe
Cartman: Shut-up dildo!
Chef: Well, I gotta get to the cafeteria. You boys watch that fat boy now.
He could be under alien control.
Chef walks back to his car, there is a picture of an alien that says
BELIEVE below it on his shirt.
Chef drives off.
Kyle: We told you they were real Cartman. Sorry to hear about your ass.
Cartman: God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass. It was just a dream.
They start to file onto the bus.
Kyle: Why are you walkin' so funny Cartman?
Cartman: Shut-up!
Ike waddles by.
Ike: I play today.
Kyle: No, Ike, go home. This is it, this ones for the game.
Ike: Purple.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Kyle kicks Ike, who flies through the first window of the school bus and
crashes out through the other side.
[On The Bus]
Stan: Good morning, Miss Crabtree.
Ms. Crabtree: Sit down! We're runnin' late!
The bus starts to drive down the road with Ike standing at the bus stop.
Kyle: Damn it, he's still there.
Stan: Oh, don't worry about him.
Kyle: No, dude, if something happens to him, my parents are gonna blame me.
Ms. Crabtree: I SAID SIT DOWN!
Stan: Yeah, whatever ya fat bitch!
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say?
Stan: I said I have a bad itch.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh.
Kyle sees two aliens holding Ike.
Kyle: Huh! Oh my god! Visitors
Kenny mumbles something and then squeezes his coat tighter.
Kyle: Ike!
Kyle runs to the front of the bus
Kyle: Stop the bus! Miss Crabtree, you have to stop this bus!
Ms. Crabtree: Do you want an office referral?
Kyle: No.
Ms. Crabtree: Then sit down!
Kyle: But I...
Ms. Crabtree: Ahhhh!
Kyle: Ahhhh!
Kyle, Ms. Crabtree: Ahhhh!
Kyle runs back to his seat.
Stan: Cartman, are those the same visitors you saw?
Cartman: Shut-up you guys it's not working.
Kyle: We have to do something.
Stan: Well, we can't do anything for now, that fat bitch won't let us.
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say?
Stan: Uh, I said that rabbits eat lettuce.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.
The bus swerves flinging kids into one side of the bus.
Kyle: What am I going to do? My little brother's been abducted by aliens.
Stan farts
Kyle: You farted.
[Laughter]
Cartman: Somebody's baking brownies.
[Farmer's grazing fields with a mutilated cow]
Farmer: This is the third cow this month. At this rate all of my cattle are
gonna die before the winter's through.
Cow: Moo
Officer Barbrady: This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves
inside out all the time.
Cows nod "no".
Farmer: People's been saying they've been seeing UFO's around.
Officer Barbrady: UFO's?
Officer Barbrady laughs.
Farmer: Yeah, and black army, CIA helicopters and trucks.
Officer Barbrady: That is the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Helicopters fly above the sky.
Farmer: What was that?
Officer Barbrady: That, that was a pigeon.
Farmer: What am I supposed to do, Barbrady? Just stand here and watch my
cattle get mutilated one by one.
Alien waves a piece of hay.
Alien whistles
The cows start running away from them.
Farmer: Hey! My cattle!
"Cattle Ranch" sign falls down.
Farmer: You see, there is somethin' funny goin' on!
Officer Barbrady: There's nothing funny going on. I'll get those cows back.
[Mr. Garrison's class]
Mr. Garrison: And now children, our friend, Mr. Hat, is going to tell us about
Christopher Columbus'.
Mr. Hat: That's right, Mr. Garrison. Christopher Columbus discovered America
and was the Indian's best friend. He helped the Indians win their war
against Fredrick Douglass and a, and a freed the Hebrews from Napoleon
and discovered France....
Kyle: Oh, man. I can't just sit here, I have to help my stupid brother, I'll come
home without him and my dad will start yelling Where's your brother, Kyle?"
"You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle?" ...
Stan: Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him.
Kyle: ... "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle!" "Brush and floss, Kyle!"
"Where has that finger been, Kyle?"
Stan: Dude!
Mr. Garrison: Is there a problem, boys?
Kyle: Yes, Mr. Garrison, I have to go now.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, really, Kyle? What is it this time? Another prostate tumor?
Kyle: No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens. [a silence] It's true!
Ask Cartman, they gave him an anal probe.
Cartman: Heh, heh, that's a, that's, that's just a little joke. Heh, heh.
Kyle walks up to Mr. Garrison's desk.
Kyle: Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. Can I please be excused from class?
Mr. Garrison: I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?
Kyle: I don't want to ask Mr. Hat, I'm asking you!
Mr. Garrison: Oh I think you should ask Mr. Hat.
Kyle: Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?
Mr. Hat: Well, Kyle. No!! No, No, No! I'm Mr. Hat and you're, you're a
little turd! You hear me?!? You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Mr. Garrison: Hmm, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle.
Kyle: Damn it!
Mr. Garrison: Ok Mr. Hat, Why don't we talk to the children about Columbus' uterus?
...Mr. Hat? Oh great, now Mr. Hat's all pissed off!
Kyle: Fuck Mr. Hat
Mr. Garrison: No no no, Fuck You
Cartman: Hah, hah. Mr. Hat yelled at you.
Cartman farts fire.
Cartman: Ow! My ass!
[Gasp ]
Kyle: Dude.
Stan: Damn, Cartman.
Cartman farts fire
Cartman: Ow! My ass!
Kyle: Dude, he's farting fire.
Stan: It's the alien anal probe. It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum.
Cartman: No, that was just a dream.
Mr. Garrison: Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is u
nder control.
Cartman: No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine.
Cartman farts fire, lighting up a little Pip.
Pip runs around the room on fire.
[Cut to Commercial]
[Train Tracks]
Conductor: Hey, you cows can't get on this train! This is a people train.
You cows have no business on a people train, all right? 'Cause your cows.
The cows are all staring at the conductor.
Conductor: No, no, no. Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right?
'Cause it's not gonna work.
Officer Barbrady drives by with his lights flashing.
Officer Barbrady: Hold it right there, cows!
Cows split up and run off mooing.
Officer Barbrady: Come back here!
[Cafeteria]
Kid 1: So then I had ...
Kid 2: Ya, seriously, killer.
Cartman farts fire.
Cartman: Oh, ooh, I sure am hungry.
Stan: How can you eat when you're farting fire?
Cartman: Shut-up, dude, you're being totally immature.
Kyle: Hey, look, there's Wendy Testeburger.
Stan: Huh, where?
Love music plays while hearts dance around Stan's head.
Cartman: Stan wants to kiss... Wendy Testeburger.
Stan: Shut-up, fat ass, I don't even like her.
Cartman: I'm not fat... and you obviously like her because you throw up every
time she talks to you.
Stan: I do not.
Wendy: Hi, guys.
Kyle, Cartman: Hi, Wendy.
Wendy: Here, Stan. This is for you.
Wendy hands Stan a note
Stan throws up.
Wendy: Eww!
Kyle, Cartman: Bye, Wendy.
Kyle: Dude, what does the note say?
Stan: Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's pond after school.
Kyle: Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her.
Cartman: Or slip her the tongue.
Kenny: Mhhmhmmmh
Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat?
[Silence]
Kenny laughs
[Laughter]
Kyle: Come on you guys, we need to figure out how to get out of school so we can
get my little brother back.
Chef: Hello, there, children.
Boys: Hey, Chef.
Chef: How are you doing?
Kyle: Bad.
Chef: Why bad?
Kyle: Chef, have you ever had something happen to you, but nobody believed you?
Chef: Oh, children, children, that's a problem we've all had to face at some time or
another. Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up.
Chef: [Singing]I'm gonna make love to ya woman, gonna lay you down by the fire. And
caress your womanly body, make ya moan and perspire. Gonna ...
Stan: Uh, Chef.
Chef: ... get those juices flowin'...
Stan: Chef!
Chef: ... we makin' love, baby, love, baby, love, love, love, love, love, baby! ...
Stan: Chef!
Chef: ...love... huh? Do you feel better?
Kyle: No.
Chef: Oh, come on children, what could be so bad? It's Salisbury steak day.
Stan: Visitors took Kyle's baby brother.
Chef: What?!?
Chef tosses a food tray aside and runs to the other side of the counter
Chef: What the hell do you think you're doing in school eatin' Salisbury steak?
Go find him damn it!
Kyle: Mr. Garrison won't let us out of school. He thinks we're making it up.
Cartman: You are making it up.
Cartman farts fire.
The anal probe pops out with a big eye ball.
The probe moves around and puts it's metal arms on it's hip.
Stan: Whoa!
The probe goes back into Cartman's ass.
Cartman: What?
Kyle: That was cool!
Chef: It's some kind of symbiotic, metamorphosis device. This could mean the visitors
want to communicate with us.
Cartman: Oh, I see. Now you're going to join in on the little joke huh?
Chef: It's no joke, children, this is big!
Kyle: Please, chef, if I don't get out of school and get my little brother back from
the aliens, my parents are gonna disown me.
Chef: Ahh, hold on, hold on now. [To himself]You, you you, gotta help the children.
Cartman: You guys sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!
Chef pulls on the fire drill.
Chef: Fire drill! Fire drill! Everybody out! Okay children, this is your chance!
Stan: Killer, thanks Chef.
Chef: Man oh man, first contact with the alien visitors. I've got to get myself ready.
[Downtown]
Boys: [Singing]We got out of school! No more school today, we got out of school...
Cartman farts fire
Cartman: Oh, you guys, my ass, seriously.
Stan: Okay, Cartman, we got out of school, you can stop farting fire now.
Cartman: I would if I could you son of a bitch!
Kyle: Okay, so how do we get my little brother back?
Cartman: Would you stop going on about your little brother? I know it was just a dream.
I know I didn't have an anal probe. And I know that I am not under alien control!
Lightning strikes Cartman and he gets big blushy cheeks and starts to sing.
Cartman: I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and June-a and the spring-a.
I love to sing-a about a sky of blue-a or a tea or a two-a
[Silence]
[Dogs barking in the background]
Stan: What the hell was that?
Kyle: He is under alien control. That thing in his butt is linked up to the visitors!
Cartman: Ah, son of a bitch!
[Cut to Commercial]
[Downtown]
Cartman: You guys, shut-up! I'm not under alien control.
Kyle: [Into Cartman's ear]Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little
brother god damn it!
Cartman: Ow! That hurts you buttlicker!
Spaceship hovers over them
Stan: Kyle, look! It's them.
Kyle: Give me back my brother!
He then throws a rock at the spaceship.
Spaceship fires back with a flash of light hitting Kenny and knocking him into the road.
Stan: Oh my god! They've killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards! Come back here! Come back! Damn it, we were so close.
Stan: Hey look, I think Kenny's okay.
Kenny gets up.
Kenny: No, I, I'm alright. Ahhhh!
Cows run over Kenny.
Stan: Owww.
Kenny gets up again.
Kenny: Nope, I'm fine. Ah!
Police car runs over Kenny
Kenny is knocked to the side of the road.
Kenny is dead.
Stan: Wow, poor Kenny.
Kyle: Now do you believe us Cartman?
Cartman: No!
Kyle: Cartman, they killed Kenny!
Cartman: He's not dead.
Stan picks up a stick and hits Kenny's bloody body.
Stan: Dude, Kenny is dead. See.
Cartman: Shut-up you guys.
Kyle: He's dead.
He takes Kenny's head and pulls it off.
Cartman: God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.
Kyle: Go on and go home you fat chicken!
Cartman: Dildo!
Kyle: You're all I have left Stan.
Stan: Sorry, dude, I gotta go meet Wendy Testeburger.
Kyle: You can't! Poor Ike must be so scared up there all alone. You gotta help me dude!
Rats feast upon Kenny's body.
Stan: Dude, like Chef says, I've gotta get a piece of lovin' while the gettin's hot.
Rats drag Kenny's head off
Kyle: Rats.
[Cartman's house]
Mrs. Cartman: Hello, Eric
Cartman: Hi, mom!
Mrs. Cartman: How are you doing?
Cartman: Well, I'm pissed off.
Mrs. Cartman: Here, I made you powdered donut pancake surprise.
Cartman: I don't want powdered donut pancake surprise. All the kids at school call me fat!
Mrs. Cartman: You're not fat, you're big boned.
Cartman: That's what I said.
Mrs. Cartman: You can have an insy weensy bit, can't you?
Cartman: No!
Mrs. Cartman: Just a weensy insy woo woo?
Cartman: No! Leave me alone, mom!
Mrs. Cartman: How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie, then?
Cartman: What? Well, that does sound pretty good. Un, mom?
Mrs. Cartman: Yes, hon?
Cartman: If anybody calls or comes over, I'm not here, okay?
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon. You want some cheesy poofs, too?
Cartman: Yeah, I want cheesy poofs.
[Stark's Pond]
Kyle: Well, it looks like she's not going to show up Stan. Let's go look for the visitors, now.
Stan: But her note said she'd be here.
Wendy: Hi, Stan.
Stan throws up.
Wendy: Eww!
Kyle: You can't talk to Stan Wendy. He throws up when you do.
Wendy: But why Stan?
Stan pukes
Wendy: Eww!
Kyle: Look, can you guys just get down to business so I can go find my little brother.
Wendy: Huh?
Kyle: Just make sweet love down by the fire.
Wendy: What happened to your little brother?
[Cartman's house]
Reporter: As the reports of UFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop circle patterns are
appearing in fields all around South Park. These crop circles, when viewed from above,
form strange patterns.
The TV shows the patterns resemble Cartman.
Cartman: Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck.
Reporter: Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us, here on earth.
[Meow]
Cartman realizes the kitty wants his pot pie.
Cartman: No, kitty, this is mah pot pie.
[Meow]
Cartman: No kitty, get back kitty
[Meow]
Cartman: No kitty it's mah pot pie!
[Hiss]
Cartman: Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!
Mrs. Cartman: Well, then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cartman: What?
[Stark's Pond]
Kyle: Now I have to go home without him and my parents are going to have me killed.
Wendy: Well, why don't you go get the fat kid?
Kyle: Why?
Wendy: Well, if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, maybe the visitors are
using him as part of their plan. You should use the fat kid as bait to bring them back.
Kyle: Hey. You're right, Wendy. Come on Stan, we have to go get Cartman.
Wendy: Come on, Stan.
He throws up again.
Wendy: Eww!
Stan: Hey, wait, when do I get to make sweet love?
A bird flies into his puke and starts waddling around in it.
[Cartman's House]
[Meow]
Cartman: No, kitty, you can't have any!
[Meow]
Cartman: No, kitty, this is mah pot pie. Bad kitty!
Cartman farts fire, setting the cat ablaze
Cartman: Eh, 'scuse me, Kitty.
Mrs. Cartman enters the room with Kyle, Stan and Wendy.
Mrs. Cartman: Eric, look who's here.
Cartman: Dude, weak mom.
Kyle: Come on Eric, we're going to go play at the bus stop.
Cartman: I can't, my mom said...
Mrs. Cartman: That's okay, Eric, I think you need to go spend time with your little friends.
Cartman: [Quietly]But mom, I don't want to spend time with my little friends.
Mrs. Cartman: Don't be difficult, Eric! Uh hum, now you go out and play in the fun snow.
Cartman: Oh, god damn it!
The kitty then runs by in flames.
[Forest]
Cartman's foot is tied to a tree.
Cartman: You guys, I have to get home.
Stan: Don't be such a fraidy cat, Cartman. This rope will make sure they can't take you on board again.
Cartman kicks his foot to try to get loose.
Cartman: Oh, man, this sucks.
Kyle: How come the visitors aren't coming for him.
Stan: I think we have to signal them somehow.
Cartman farts fire
Cartman: Ow!
Wendy: Hey, he's like Rudolph.
Kyle: Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more, Cartman! And the visitors are sure to come!
Cartman: Really? Uh, I don't think I can fart anymore tonight.
Kyle: Sure you do!
Stan: Come on Cartman, fart!
Cartman: I don't wanna.
Stan: He can't hold it in forever.
Kyle: Fart, damn you!
Cartman: Okay, that's does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things
either going in or coming out of my ass?!
Cartman Farts.
An anal probe comes out of his butt and turns into an 80-foot satellite.
Cartman: I'm sick of it! It's completely immature.
Stan: Hey, it's happening again.
Kyle: Whoa, look at that.
Stan: Now, do you believe us, Cartman?
Cartman: You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up.
Stan: Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass.
Cartman: Sure, you guys, whatever.
[Chef's backyard]
Chef: Oh, boy. The aliens are going to make first contact. Hey,down here, we are ready for your wisdom!
Chef looks at his watch.
Chef: And you've only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on.
[Forest]
Cartman: You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now! I know there is no such
things as aliens!
Three hover craft start flying above them.
A bigger spaceship floats above Cartman's head.
Cartman: Oh, God damn it!
[Mr. Garrison's Car]
Mr. Garrison: What the? I tell you, there are some crazy stuff going on in this town.
Mr. Hat: You can say that again, Mr. Garrison.
[Forest]
Kyle: Come down here you stinking aliens!
Four aliens appear.
Kyle: Uh, uh.
Stan: Go on, Kyle, ask 'em for your little brother back.
Kyle: Vi, Visitors, this morning you took my little brother, Ike. He's the little freckled
kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away.
But I've learned something today. That having a little brother... is a pretty special thing.
Stan: Yeah.
Kyle: Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors, I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world, but if you could
find it in your hearts or whatever you have, to give my brother back to me, it sure would
make my life brighter again.
Stan: That was beautiful, dude.
Kyle: Did it work?
Stan: No, they're leaving.
Kyle: Hey, you scrawny ass shithead, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You must be some
kind of fucking asshole to be able to ignore a crying child!
Stan: Whoa, dude!
Kyle: You know what you fucking like, you like to !@ !@Stan: Hey Wendy, what's a !@
The spaceship door opens, Ike is standing there.
Ike says something
Kyle: Ike, jump down, now! For the love of god, Ike, jump!
Ike says something
The cows go up to the aliens and start mooing.
Alien: Moo moo moo, moo moo moo, mooo
[Subtitles]
Alien: Greetings, cows of Earth, we come in peace.
Cow: Really??
Kyle: Come on, Ike! I promise I'll be nice to you from now on!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Alien: We have experimented with all the beings of Earth, and we have learned that you are
the most intelligent and wise.
Cartman: What the hell are they talking about?
Cow: Why did you turn some of us inside out?
Alien: Oh, that was Carl's fault. He's new.
Alien(Carl): Yeah, sorry about that, my bad!
Kyle: Ike!
Alien: Take this device. It's a gift from us.
The cows look at each other and moo in agreement.
Kyle: Ike! Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!
Ike: It's my turn!
Ike dives into the snow.
The satellite goes back into Cartman's butt.
Alien: Farewell, cows, may peace be with you.
The aliens disappear
The spaceship pulls Cartman up but the rope keeps him hovering above the ground.
Cartman: You guys, get me down from har!
Cartman farts fire, burns the rope.
Cartman goes up into the ship and the spaceship flies away.
Cartman: Ow! Help! Sons of bitches! Dildo!
Stan: Phew, I'm sure glad that's over with.
Kyle: Yeah. Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike.
Ike: Oh, he fly out of the sky.
[Chef's Backyard]
Chef: Wait, where are you going alien visitors? Come back!
Blonde and a brunette walk over to Chef.
Blonde: Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing you were going to show us.
Chef: Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies. Come on in.
[Forest]
Kyle: Come on, Ike, we can make it just in time for dinner.
Stan: Thanks for your help, Wendy.
Wendy: Whatever, dude.
Stan: Hey, I didn't throw up.
Wendy: Cool.
They both look at each other like they're going to kiss.
Wendy pucker up.
Stan vomits.
Wendy: Eww!
Stan: Sorry.
Wendy: Hey, look. A french fry.
Stan: Cool.
Wendy: And what is that?
Stan: I think it's part of a cheesy poof.
Chef's song starts up.
Wendy: Hey, what's that?
Stan: That's... a hamburger from... that's from, like, two days ago.
Wendy: Hey, what about that?
Stan: I don't know what the hell that is.
[Cut to Commercial]
[Bus Stop]
Stan: Gee, the bus'll be here any minute, and Cartman still isn't around.
Kyle: Yeh, we're running out of friends.
Stan: I wonder what that thing was that the visitors gave the cows.
[Cows out on a pasture]
Cows: Mooo.
Officer Barbrady: Ha ha cows! I've got you cornered. Let's see you get away now.
One of the cows step on the plate on the alien device.
A bolt of lightning strikes Officer Barbrady.
His glasses fly off, and cheeks become rosy.
Officer Barbrady: I love to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a,
I love to sing-a, 'bout a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a...
Cows begin hopping about gleefully
[Bus Stop]
Cartman falls out of the sky, landing next to Kyle and Stan.
Cartman: Puh.
Stan: Oh, hey Cartman.
Kyle: Wow Cartman, the visitors dropped you off just in time to go to school.
Cartman: Ah, man, I had this crazy nightmare lastnight.
Stan: Really, what about?
Cartman: Well, I was standing out in a field, and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt. And then there was hundreds of cows and aliens, and then
I went up on the ship and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.
Stan: That wasn't a dream Cartman, that really happened.
Cartman: Oh, right. Why don't I have pinkeye then?
Kyle: Cartman, you do have pinkeye.
Cartman: Ahh, son of a bitch!
[fin]
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
------------
South park Folge 101:
Episode 101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
[At the bus stop]
[Singing]
Boys: [Singing]School day, school day, teacher's golden ru...
Kyle: Ah, damn it! My little brother's trying to follow me to school,
again.
Ike: Zeeponanner
Kyle: Ike, you can't come to school with me.
Ike makes some baby speak
Cartman: Yeah, go home you little dildo.
Kyle: Dude, don't call my brother a dildo!
Stan: What's a dildo?
Kyle: Well, I don't know... and I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either.
Cartman: I know what it means!
Kyle: Well, what?
Cartman: I'm not telling you.
Stan: What's a dildo Kenny?
Kenny: Mrmmrmpmpmp
[Laughter]
Cartman: Huh, yeah, that's what Kyle's little brother is all right!
Kyle swings Ike by his feet, knocking Cartman down
Cartman: Ow!
Ike laughs
Stan: Dude! That kicks ass!
Kyle: Yeah, check this one out. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Kyle: Kick the baby.
Kyle kicks Ike.
Ike flings into four mailboxes, knocking them down.
Cartman yawns
Stan: Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.
Cartman: That's 'cause I was having these bogus nightmares.
Kyle: Really? What about?
Cartman: Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed... in the dark.
When all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room.
Then slowly my bedroom door begin to open and the next thing I remember
I was being drug through a hallway. Then I was lying on a table and
these scary hands wanted to operate on me. And they had big heads and
big black eyes.
Through his dialogue it shows Cartman being drug through a hallway and
aliens pulling his pants down.
Stan: Dude! Visitors!
Kyle: Totally!
Cartman: What?
Stan: That wasn't a dream Cartman, those were visitors!
Cartman: No, it was just a dream, my mom said so.
Stan: Visitors are real.
Kyle: Yeah, they abduct people and they mutilate cows.
Cartman: Oh, shut-up guys you're just trying to make me scared.
And it's not working.
Chef drives up and gets out of the car.
Chef: Hello there, children.
Boys: Hey, Chef.
Stan: What's going to be for lunch today?
Chef: Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles and a choice of
green bean casserole... or vegetable medley.
Cartman: Kick ass.
Chef: Say, did any of you children see the alien space ship last night?
Cartman: Huh.
Kyle: Yeah, fat boy saw it!
Cartman: Eh, no, that, that was just a dream... and I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
Chef: Oh, was it the ones with the big long heads and the black eyes?
Cartman: Oh!
Stan: They took him on their ship.
Chef: Oh! Did they give you an anal probe?
Cartman: Oh!
Kyle: What's an anal probe?
Chef: That's when they put a big metal hooba-jube up yo' butt.
Kyle: Whoa, they gave you an anal probe Cartman?
Cartman: No! I I mean, eh, why would they do that?
Stan: Dude, they did, huh? Aliens stuck stuff up your ass?!?
Cartman: No!
Ike: Ahal probe
Cartman: Shut-up dildo!
Chef: Well, I gotta get to the cafeteria. You boys watch that fat boy now.
He could be under alien control.
Chef walks back to his car, there is a picture of an alien that says
BELIEVE below it on his shirt.
Chef drives off.
Kyle: We told you they were real Cartman. Sorry to hear about your ass.
Cartman: God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass. It was just a dream.
They start to file onto the bus.
Kyle: Why are you walkin' so funny Cartman?
Cartman: Shut-up!
Ike waddles by.
Ike: I play today.
Kyle: No, Ike, go home. This is it, this ones for the game.
Ike: Purple.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Kyle kicks Ike, who flies through the first window of the school bus and
crashes out through the other side.
[On The Bus]
Stan: Good morning, Miss Crabtree.
Ms. Crabtree: Sit down! We're runnin' late!
The bus starts to drive down the road with Ike standing at the bus stop.
Kyle: Damn it, he's still there.
Stan: Oh, don't worry about him.
Kyle: No, dude, if something happens to him, my parents are gonna blame me.
Ms. Crabtree: I SAID SIT DOWN!
Stan: Yeah, whatever ya fat bitch!
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say?
Stan: I said I have a bad itch.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh.
Kyle sees two aliens holding Ike.
Kyle: Huh! Oh my god! Visitors
Kenny mumbles something and then squeezes his coat tighter.
Kyle: Ike!
Kyle runs to the front of the bus
Kyle: Stop the bus! Miss Crabtree, you have to stop this bus!
Ms. Crabtree: Do you want an office referral?
Kyle: No.
Ms. Crabtree: Then sit down!
Kyle: But I...
Ms. Crabtree: Ahhhh!
Kyle: Ahhhh!
Kyle, Ms. Crabtree: Ahhhh!
Kyle runs back to his seat.
Stan: Cartman, are those the same visitors you saw?
Cartman: Shut-up you guys it's not working.
Kyle: We have to do something.
Stan: Well, we can't do anything for now, that fat bitch won't let us.
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say?
Stan: Uh, I said that rabbits eat lettuce.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.
The bus swerves flinging kids into one side of the bus.
Kyle: What am I going to do? My little brother's been abducted by aliens.
Stan farts
Kyle: You farted.
[Laughter]
Cartman: Somebody's baking brownies.
[Farmer's grazing fields with a mutilated cow]
Farmer: This is the third cow this month. At this rate all of my cattle are
gonna die before the winter's through.
Cow: Moo
Officer Barbrady: This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves
inside out all the time.
Cows nod "no".
Farmer: People's been saying they've been seeing UFO's around.
Officer Barbrady: UFO's?
Officer Barbrady laughs.
Farmer: Yeah, and black army, CIA helicopters and trucks.
Officer Barbrady: That is the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Helicopters fly above the sky.
Farmer: What was that?
Officer Barbrady: That, that was a pigeon.
Farmer: What am I supposed to do, Barbrady? Just stand here and watch my
cattle get mutilated one by one.
Alien waves a piece of hay.
Alien whistles
The cows start running away from them.
Farmer: Hey! My cattle!
"Cattle Ranch" sign falls down.
Farmer: You see, there is somethin' funny goin' on!
Officer Barbrady: There's nothing funny going on. I'll get those cows back.
[Mr. Garrison's class]
Mr. Garrison: And now children, our friend, Mr. Hat, is going to tell us about
Christopher Columbus'.
Mr. Hat: That's right, Mr. Garrison. Christopher Columbus discovered America
and was the Indian's best friend. He helped the Indians win their war
against Fredrick Douglass and a, and a freed the Hebrews from Napoleon
and discovered France....
Kyle: Oh, man. I can't just sit here, I have to help my stupid brother, I'll come
home without him and my dad will start yelling Where's your brother, Kyle?"
"You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle?" ...
Stan: Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him.
Kyle: ... "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle!" "Brush and floss, Kyle!"
"Where has that finger been, Kyle?"
Stan: Dude!
Mr. Garrison: Is there a problem, boys?
Kyle: Yes, Mr. Garrison, I have to go now.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, really, Kyle? What is it this time? Another prostate tumor?
Kyle: No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens. [a silence] It's true!
Ask Cartman, they gave him an anal probe.
Cartman: Heh, heh, that's a, that's, that's just a little joke. Heh, heh.
Kyle walks up to Mr. Garrison's desk.
Kyle: Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. Can I please be excused from class?
Mr. Garrison: I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?
Kyle: I don't want to ask Mr. Hat, I'm asking you!
Mr. Garrison: Oh I think you should ask Mr. Hat.
Kyle: Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?
Mr. Hat: Well, Kyle. No!! No, No, No! I'm Mr. Hat and you're, you're a
little turd! You hear me?!? You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Mr. Garrison: Hmm, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle.
Kyle: Damn it!
Mr. Garrison: Ok Mr. Hat, Why don't we talk to the children about Columbus' uterus?
...Mr. Hat? Oh great, now Mr. Hat's all pissed off!
Kyle: Fuck Mr. Hat
Mr. Garrison: No no no, Fuck You
Cartman: Hah, hah. Mr. Hat yelled at you.
Cartman farts fire.
Cartman: Ow! My ass!
[Gasp ]
Kyle: Dude.
Stan: Damn, Cartman.
Cartman farts fire
Cartman: Ow! My ass!
Kyle: Dude, he's farting fire.
Stan: It's the alien anal probe. It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum.
Cartman: No, that was just a dream.
Mr. Garrison: Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is u
nder control.
Cartman: No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine.
Cartman farts fire, lighting up a little Pip.
Pip runs around the room on fire.
[Cut to Commercial]
[Train Tracks]
Conductor: Hey, you cows can't get on this train! This is a people train.
You cows have no business on a people train, all right? 'Cause your cows.
The cows are all staring at the conductor.
Conductor: No, no, no. Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right?
'Cause it's not gonna work.
Officer Barbrady drives by with his lights flashing.
Officer Barbrady: Hold it right there, cows!
Cows split up and run off mooing.
Officer Barbrady: Come back here!
[Cafeteria]
Kid 1: So then I had ...
Kid 2: Ya, seriously, killer.
Cartman farts fire.
Cartman: Oh, ooh, I sure am hungry.
Stan: How can you eat when you're farting fire?
Cartman: Shut-up, dude, you're being totally immature.
Kyle: Hey, look, there's Wendy Testeburger.
Stan: Huh, where?
Love music plays while hearts dance around Stan's head.
Cartman: Stan wants to kiss... Wendy Testeburger.
Stan: Shut-up, fat ass, I don't even like her.
Cartman: I'm not fat... and you obviously like her because you throw up every
time she talks to you.
Stan: I do not.
Wendy: Hi, guys.
Kyle, Cartman: Hi, Wendy.
Wendy: Here, Stan. This is for you.
Wendy hands Stan a note
Stan throws up.
Wendy: Eww!
Kyle, Cartman: Bye, Wendy.
Kyle: Dude, what does the note say?
Stan: Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's pond after school.
Kyle: Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her.
Cartman: Or slip her the tongue.
Kenny: Mhhmhmmmh
Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat?
[Silence]
Kenny laughs
[Laughter]
Kyle: Come on you guys, we need to figure out how to get out of school so we can
get my little brother back.
Chef: Hello, there, children.
Boys: Hey, Chef.
Chef: How are you doing?
Kyle: Bad.
Chef: Why bad?
Kyle: Chef, have you ever had something happen to you, but nobody believed you?
Chef: Oh, children, children, that's a problem we've all had to face at some time or
another. Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up.
Chef: [Singing]I'm gonna make love to ya woman, gonna lay you down by the fire. And
caress your womanly body, make ya moan and perspire. Gonna ...
Stan: Uh, Chef.
Chef: ... get those juices flowin'...
Stan: Chef!
Chef: ... we makin' love, baby, love, baby, love, love, love, love, love, baby! ...
Stan: Chef!
Chef: ...love... huh? Do you feel better?
Kyle: No.
Chef: Oh, come on children, what could be so bad? It's Salisbury steak day.
Stan: Visitors took Kyle's baby brother.
Chef: What?!?
Chef tosses a food tray aside and runs to the other side of the counter
Chef: What the hell do you think you're doing in school eatin' Salisbury steak?
Go find him damn it!
Kyle: Mr. Garrison won't let us out of school. He thinks we're making it up.
Cartman: You are making it up.
Cartman farts fire.
The anal probe pops out with a big eye ball.
The probe moves around and puts it's metal arms on it's hip.
Stan: Whoa!
The probe goes back into Cartman's ass.
Cartman: What?
Kyle: That was cool!
Chef: It's some kind of symbiotic, metamorphosis device. This could mean the visitors
want to communicate with us.
Cartman: Oh, I see. Now you're going to join in on the little joke huh?
Chef: It's no joke, children, this is big!
Kyle: Please, chef, if I don't get out of school and get my little brother back from
the aliens, my parents are gonna disown me.
Chef: Ahh, hold on, hold on now. [To himself]You, you you, gotta help the children.
Cartman: You guys sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!
Chef pulls on the fire drill.
Chef: Fire drill! Fire drill! Everybody out! Okay children, this is your chance!
Stan: Killer, thanks Chef.
Chef: Man oh man, first contact with the alien visitors. I've got to get myself ready.
[Downtown]
Boys: [Singing]We got out of school! No more school today, we got out of school...
Cartman farts fire
Cartman: Oh, you guys, my ass, seriously.
Stan: Okay, Cartman, we got out of school, you can stop farting fire now.
Cartman: I would if I could you son of a bitch!
Kyle: Okay, so how do we get my little brother back?
Cartman: Would you stop going on about your little brother? I know it was just a dream.
I know I didn't have an anal probe. And I know that I am not under alien control!
Lightning strikes Cartman and he gets big blushy cheeks and starts to sing.
Cartman: I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and June-a and the spring-a.
I love to sing-a about a sky of blue-a or a tea or a two-a
[Silence]
[Dogs barking in the background]
Stan: What the hell was that?
Kyle: He is under alien control. That thing in his butt is linked up to the visitors!
Cartman: Ah, son of a bitch!
[Cut to Commercial]
[Downtown]
Cartman: You guys, shut-up! I'm not under alien control.
Kyle: [Into Cartman's ear]Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little
brother god damn it!
Cartman: Ow! That hurts you buttlicker!
Spaceship hovers over them
Stan: Kyle, look! It's them.
Kyle: Give me back my brother!
He then throws a rock at the spaceship.
Spaceship fires back with a flash of light hitting Kenny and knocking him into the road.
Stan: Oh my god! They've killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards! Come back here! Come back! Damn it, we were so close.
Stan: Hey look, I think Kenny's okay.
Kenny gets up.
Kenny: No, I, I'm alright. Ahhhh!
Cows run over Kenny.
Stan: Owww.
Kenny gets up again.
Kenny: Nope, I'm fine. Ah!
Police car runs over Kenny
Kenny is knocked to the side of the road.
Kenny is dead.
Stan: Wow, poor Kenny.
Kyle: Now do you believe us Cartman?
Cartman: No!
Kyle: Cartman, they killed Kenny!
Cartman: He's not dead.
Stan picks up a stick and hits Kenny's bloody body.
Stan: Dude, Kenny is dead. See.
Cartman: Shut-up you guys.
Kyle: He's dead.
He takes Kenny's head and pulls it off.
Cartman: God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.
Kyle: Go on and go home you fat chicken!
Cartman: Dildo!
Kyle: You're all I have left Stan.
Stan: Sorry, dude, I gotta go meet Wendy Testeburger.
Kyle: You can't! Poor Ike must be so scared up there all alone. You gotta help me dude!
Rats feast upon Kenny's body.
Stan: Dude, like Chef says, I've gotta get a piece of lovin' while the gettin's hot.
Rats drag Kenny's head off
Kyle: Rats.
[Cartman's house]
Mrs. Cartman: Hello, Eric
Cartman: Hi, mom!
Mrs. Cartman: How are you doing?
Cartman: Well, I'm pissed off.
Mrs. Cartman: Here, I made you powdered donut pancake surprise.
Cartman: I don't want powdered donut pancake surprise. All the kids at school call me fat!
Mrs. Cartman: You're not fat, you're big boned.
Cartman: That's what I said.
Mrs. Cartman: You can have an insy weensy bit, can't you?
Cartman: No!
Mrs. Cartman: Just a weensy insy woo woo?
Cartman: No! Leave me alone, mom!
Mrs. Cartman: How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie, then?
Cartman: What? Well, that does sound pretty good. Un, mom?
Mrs. Cartman: Yes, hon?
Cartman: If anybody calls or comes over, I'm not here, okay?
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon. You want some cheesy poofs, too?
Cartman: Yeah, I want cheesy poofs.
[Stark's Pond]
Kyle: Well, it looks like she's not going to show up Stan. Let's go look for the visitors, now.
Stan: But her note said she'd be here.
Wendy: Hi, Stan.
Stan throws up.
Wendy: Eww!
Kyle: You can't talk to Stan Wendy. He throws up when you do.
Wendy: But why Stan?
Stan pukes
Wendy: Eww!
Kyle: Look, can you guys just get down to business so I can go find my little brother.
Wendy: Huh?
Kyle: Just make sweet love down by the fire.
Wendy: What happened to your little brother?
[Cartman's house]
Reporter: As the reports of UFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop circle patterns are
appearing in fields all around South Park. These crop circles, when viewed from above,
form strange patterns.
The TV shows the patterns resemble Cartman.
Cartman: Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck.
Reporter: Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us, here on earth.
[Meow]
Cartman realizes the kitty wants his pot pie.
Cartman: No, kitty, this is mah pot pie.
[Meow]
Cartman: No kitty, get back kitty
[Meow]
Cartman: No kitty it's mah pot pie!
[Hiss]
Cartman: Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!
Mrs. Cartman: Well, then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cartman: What?
[Stark's Pond]
Kyle: Now I have to go home without him and my parents are going to have me killed.
Wendy: Well, why don't you go get the fat kid?
Kyle: Why?
Wendy: Well, if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, maybe the visitors are
using him as part of their plan. You should use the fat kid as bait to bring them back.
Kyle: Hey. You're right, Wendy. Come on Stan, we have to go get Cartman.
Wendy: Come on, Stan.
He throws up again.
Wendy: Eww!
Stan: Hey, wait, when do I get to make sweet love?
A bird flies into his puke and starts waddling around in it.
[Cartman's House]
[Meow]
Cartman: No, kitty, you can't have any!
[Meow]
Cartman: No, kitty, this is mah pot pie. Bad kitty!
Cartman farts fire, setting the cat ablaze
Cartman: Eh, 'scuse me, Kitty.
Mrs. Cartman enters the room with Kyle, Stan and Wendy.
Mrs. Cartman: Eric, look who's here.
Cartman: Dude, weak mom.
Kyle: Come on Eric, we're going to go play at the bus stop.
Cartman: I can't, my mom said...
Mrs. Cartman: That's okay, Eric, I think you need to go spend time with your little friends.
Cartman: [Quietly]But mom, I don't want to spend time with my little friends.
Mrs. Cartman: Don't be difficult, Eric! Uh hum, now you go out and play in the fun snow.
Cartman: Oh, god damn it!
The kitty then runs by in flames.
[Forest]
Cartman's foot is tied to a tree.
Cartman: You guys, I have to get home.
Stan: Don't be such a fraidy cat, Cartman. This rope will make sure they can't take you on board again.
Cartman kicks his foot to try to get loose.
Cartman: Oh, man, this sucks.
Kyle: How come the visitors aren't coming for him.
Stan: I think we have to signal them somehow.
Cartman farts fire
Cartman: Ow!
Wendy: Hey, he's like Rudolph.
Kyle: Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more, Cartman! And the visitors are sure to come!
Cartman: Really? Uh, I don't think I can fart anymore tonight.
Kyle: Sure you do!
Stan: Come on Cartman, fart!
Cartman: I don't wanna.
Stan: He can't hold it in forever.
Kyle: Fart, damn you!
Cartman: Okay, that's does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things
either going in or coming out of my ass?!
Cartman Farts.
An anal probe comes out of his butt and turns into an 80-foot satellite.
Cartman: I'm sick of it! It's completely immature.
Stan: Hey, it's happening again.
Kyle: Whoa, look at that.
Stan: Now, do you believe us, Cartman?
Cartman: You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up.
Stan: Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass.
Cartman: Sure, you guys, whatever.
[Chef's backyard]
Chef: Oh, boy. The aliens are going to make first contact. Hey,down here, we are ready for your wisdom!
Chef looks at his watch.
Chef: And you've only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on.
[Forest]
Cartman: You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now! I know there is no such
things as aliens!
Three hover craft start flying above them.
A bigger spaceship floats above Cartman's head.
Cartman: Oh, God damn it!
[Mr. Garrison's Car]
Mr. Garrison: What the? I tell you, there are some crazy stuff going on in this town.
Mr. Hat: You can say that again, Mr. Garrison.
[Forest]
Kyle: Come down here you stinking aliens!
Four aliens appear.
Kyle: Uh, uh.
Stan: Go on, Kyle, ask 'em for your little brother back.
Kyle: Vi, Visitors, this morning you took my little brother, Ike. He's the little freckled
kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away.
But I've learned something today. That having a little brother... is a pretty special thing.
Stan: Yeah.
Kyle: Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors, I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world, but if you could
find it in your hearts or whatever you have, to give my brother back to me, it sure would
make my life brighter again.
Stan: That was beautiful, dude.
Kyle: Did it work?
Stan: No, they're leaving.
Kyle: Hey, you scrawny ass shithead, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You must be some
kind of fucking asshole to be able to ignore a crying child!
Stan: Whoa, dude!
Kyle: You know what you fucking like, you like to !@ !@Stan: Hey Wendy, what's a !@
The spaceship door opens, Ike is standing there.
Ike says something
Kyle: Ike, jump down, now! For the love of god, Ike, jump!
Ike says something
The cows go up to the aliens and start mooing.
Alien: Moo moo moo, moo moo moo, mooo
[Subtitles]
Alien: Greetings, cows of Earth, we come in peace.
Cow: Really??
Kyle: Come on, Ike! I promise I'll be nice to you from now on!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Alien: We have experimented with all the beings of Earth, and we have learned that you are
the most intelligent and wise.
Cartman: What the hell are they talking about?
Cow: Why did you turn some of us inside out?
Alien: Oh, that was Carl's fault. He's new.
Alien(Carl): Yeah, sorry about that, my bad!
Kyle: Ike!
Alien: Take this device. It's a gift from us.
The cows look at each other and moo in agreement.
Kyle: Ike! Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!
Ike: It's my turn!
Ike dives into the snow.
The satellite goes back into Cartman's butt.
Alien: Farewell, cows, may peace be with you.
The aliens disappear
The spaceship pulls Cartman up but the rope keeps him hovering above the ground.
Cartman: You guys, get me down from har!
Cartman farts fire, burns the rope.
Cartman goes up into the ship and the spaceship flies away.
Cartman: Ow! Help! Sons of bitches! Dildo!
Stan: Phew, I'm sure glad that's over with.
Kyle: Yeah. Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike.
Ike: Oh, he fly out of the sky.
[Chef's Backyard]
Chef: Wait, where are you going alien visitors? Come back!
Blonde and a brunette walk over to Chef.
Blonde: Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing you were going to show us.
Chef: Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies. Come on in.
[Forest]
Kyle: Come on, Ike, we can make it just in time for dinner.
Stan: Thanks for your help, Wendy.
Wendy: Whatever, dude.
Stan: Hey, I didn't throw up.
Wendy: Cool.
They both look at each other like they're going to kiss.
Wendy pucker up.
Stan vomits.
Wendy: Eww!
Stan: Sorry.
Wendy: Hey, look. A french fry.
Stan: Cool.
Wendy: And what is that?
Stan: I think it's part of a cheesy poof.
Chef's song starts up.
Wendy: Hey, what's that?
Stan: That's... a hamburger from... that's from, like, two days ago.
Wendy: Hey, what about that?
Stan: I don't know what the hell that is.
[Cut to Commercial]
[Bus Stop]
Stan: Gee, the bus'll be here any minute, and Cartman still isn't around.
Kyle: Yeh, we're running out of friends.
Stan: I wonder what that thing was that the visitors gave the cows.
[Cows out on a pasture]
Cows: Mooo.
Officer Barbrady: Ha ha cows! I've got you cornered. Let's see you get away now.
One of the cows step on the plate on the alien device.
A bolt of lightning strikes Officer Barbrady.
His glasses fly off, and cheeks become rosy.
Officer Barbrady: I love to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a,
I love to sing-a, 'bout a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a...
Cows begin hopping about gleefully
[Bus Stop]
Cartman falls out of the sky, landing next to Kyle and Stan.
Cartman: Puh.
Stan: Oh, hey Cartman.
Kyle: Wow Cartman, the visitors dropped you off just in time to go to school.
Cartman: Ah, man, I had this crazy nightmare lastnight.
Stan: Really, what about?
Cartman: Well, I was standing out in a field, and I had this huge satellite dish
sticking out of my butt. And then there was hundreds of cows and aliens, and then
I went up on the ship and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.
Stan: That wasn't a dream Cartman, that really happened.
Cartman: Oh, right. Why don't I have pinkeye then?
Kyle: Cartman, you do have pinkeye.
Cartman: Ahh, son of a bitch!
[fin]
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
verdammt warpi war wieder schneller muss ich wieder ne sneue episode rauskramen
geh mal suchen posting 998 und 2 fehlen noch 1000 schaffen wir noch also gogogogog
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d
geh mal suchen posting 998 und 2 fehlen noch 1000 schaffen wir noch also gogogogog
Paris is notorious for its rude waiters. If you want to avoid effrontery from a guy making seven Dollars an hour, stand at the bar. While the barkeep might be just as rude, the same beer is cheaper at the bar. Beer is priced higher for customers sitting d